The Birth of a Painting

 Somewhere I have never travelled,gladly beyond

Any experience,your eyes have their silence:

In your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

Or which I cannot touch because they are too near

Your slightest look easily will unclose me

Though I have closed myself as fingers,

 

You open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

Or if your wish be to close me, I and

My life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

As when the heart of this flower imagines

The snow carefully everywhere descending;

Nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

The power of your intense fragility:whose texture

Compels me with the color of its countries,

Rendering death and forever with each breathing

 

(I do not know what it is about you that closes

And opens;only something in me understands

The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond

by E. E. Cummings

 

Lala’s Kitchen: Chow Mein

Ingredients:

• Dry Chow Mein Noodles (Asian Market)
• One Yellow Onion
• 6-7 mushrooms
• Yellow bellpepper
• Kale
• bean sprouts
• 1/3 a cup of Chicken Stock
• 1/3 a Cup of Soy Sauce
• Chili Oil
• Sesame Oil
• One tbsp of Fish Sauce
• 5 cloves of minced garlic

Directions

1. Chop up entire onion and fry until golden brown in sesame and chili oil.
2. Cut bell pepper into thin long slices and add to onions.
3. Add Kale (as much as your little heart desires!)
4. Chop mushroom into 4 parts and add to pan.
5. Add chicken stock, garlic, and bean sprouts. Let simmer.
6. In seperate pot, cook noodle in water until soft.
7. Add noodles to vegetable pan.
8. Add soy sauce and and fish sauce and mix until the noodles soak up all of the juice.

Explore, Experiment, Enjoy!

Recipes by Auntie Lala: Chicken Veggie Eggrolls

Apart from my love of writing, painting, scrapbooking, crocheting, quilting, and basically anything your eighty-your-old grandmother does on a regular basis, is my love of cooking. I am constantly experimenting in the kitchen, trying out new recipes and making my own and tasting new flavors and spices. My boyfriend calls me, “The Queen of the Kitchen,” which of course would make him the king of the kitchen. Somehow I managed to find the only guy in LA that likes cooking more than I do.

Below is one of my own recipes for chicken veggie eggrolls. Please approach my recipe as most celebrities approach their marriages, not to be taken too seriously and made to be broken. Explore. Experiment. Enjoy. Bon appetit!

Ingredients:

1. One package of eggroll wrapping paper (you can get this from an Asian market)
2. Half an onion
3.  6-7 Mushrooms
4. Half a bellpepper
5. 5 garlic cloves
6. 2 Chicken breasts
7. One egg
8. Chili oil
9. 1/2 cup of Soy Sauce
10. Olive oil

Directions:

1. Chop onion into small cubes and saute.in chili oil until golden brown.
2. Chop mushroom and bellpepper into small cubes and add to pan.
3. Mince garlic and add to pan.
4. Cut chicken into small cubes and add to pan.
5. Add soysauce.
6. Crack egg over pan and scramble in.

7. When everything is cooked, put aside and let cool for 10 minutes. Take eggroll paper and dip in luke warm water for 10 seconds til soft. Scoop small spoonful of chicken/veggie mix into center of paper. Wrap eggroll with sides in first and then roll like a burrito til tight.

8. Cover pan in a quarter of an inch of olive oil. Fry eggroll until both sides are golden. Serve with whatever sauce your little heart desires. I recommend a sweet chili.

9. Eat til your tum tum is stuffed full!

Here Comes the Bride: A Wedding Scrapbook

I recently made a scrapbook for my soon to be sister-in-law, Laura. I left the photo slots empty so that she could fill them in herself. Each page had a different theme:

Love at First Sight

The Proposal

The Bridal Shower

The Bachelorette Party

The Rehearsal Dinner

Our Day

Here Comes the Bride

I Do

First Kiss

Bride and Groom

The Wedding Party

Father Daughter Dance

First Dance

The Garter Toss

 Toss The Bouquet

Cut the Cake

The Honeymoon

Hawaii

Scrapbooking 101

The key to scrapbooking is layers…layers, layers, layers!

Step One: I start by staring at a pile of paper. I know that sounds stupid, but it works. Just stare at the pile until you start to see certain patterns and colors that look good together.Give your mind a rest for a bit and let your eyes do the work. After a few minutes, select three or four pieces to work with.

Step Two: Create your first layer, by placing a small sheet over a larger piece. This is your master piece (The paper that you will continue to add to).I like to do this once or twice depending on how busy the patterns are on the sheets that I use.

Step Three: Outline the edge of the large paper with skinny slits to make a border.

Step Four: Add whatever words you want to use to a plain or very simple background. Layer the word piece with a different background. Then, layer it again.

Step Six: To create a picture slot, cut a rectangle large enough to leave a centimeter or so on each side of the photograph. Add another layer slightly larger and of a different pattern or color. Add a third layer.

Add corners to your picture to spice it up more.

Step Seven: Add embellishments and extra words to finish the page.

I Finished the First Draft of My Novel

Two years and three-hundred and forty pages later and I have officially finished writing the first draft of my novel. Don’t celebrate just yet…there is still about a year or two left of major editing. But it does feel amazing to have the actual story down on paper…(ie. Word Doc)

So here is a little excerpt from the first draft. I apologize..it’s a little rough:

Flames danced throughout the house like the plague in a crowded room. The shag grey carpet burst alive, illuminating like a great sea of fire. The air grew hot and smoke leaked from the house through cracked windows.

 Simone crawled out of the pantry and across the kitchen floor. By now, the smoke had grown thick making it difficult to breathe. Simone reached up and pulled a kitchen towel from the counter to cover her mouth. It felt as if someone had poured acid into her eye sockets. She rubbed them smearing black ash over her face. She glanced around. Her eyes were like two glowing stars amidst a black sea of night.

All around her, the house burned to pieces. Parts of the ceiling and walls plunged to the floor in burning heaps of black ash. Smoke billowed up into every crevice and forced its way out of the house.

 Simone reached the edge of the kitchen and stared into the expanse of flames. There was no way she could make it to the front door. She glanced over her shoulder towards the back patio. The screen door was open and it wasn’t as far from the kitchen tile. She just might be able to jump the distance. She turned and began crawling in the opposite direction. The tile grew hotter by the second, burning under her hands and knees. She reached the edge of the tile and grabbed the counter to pull herself up. It burned like the face of a stove and she quickly let go. She propped herself up and studied the distance. She only had one shot to make it. If she cut it too short, she’d land on the firey carpet. With all her strength, she pushed off the floor and stood. This is it. She took a breath and ran forward lifting her feet off the floor. Seconds later, she came crashing down landing sideways on the back patio.

An explosion sounded from within the house, and debris flew out in all directions. She wasn’t safe. She had to get further away. With the little strength she had, she began dragging herself across the patio. Her arms felt blistered and raw against the ground.  Smoke bled from the windows, filling the night’s sky with burning ash. Her lungs felt tight, and with each movement, the energy drained from her. She rolled onto her back, coughed violently, and then after taking one last breath, closed her eyes.

My Life Mantra

 

 Forgive those who have hurt you. Let go. Ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt.

 Travel to destinations you’ve never planned to see.

Don’t ever let yourself get too comfortable.

Don’t be afraid to wander and get lost.

Stand up for yourself.

Defend those who cannot defend themselves.

 

Protect the innocence of the innocent.

Appreciate beauty in the natural world around you.

 

Appreciate beauty in others.

 Appreciate beauty in yourself.

Paint.

Scrapbook. Crochet. Quilt. Draw. Write.

Cook your own food.

Laugh when you’re happy.

 

Always remain a kid at heart.

Be silly for silly’s sake.

Cry when you feel sad. Embrace it. Welcome it. Love it.

Have a love affair with literature.

Be warm, gentle, and kind. 

Do not fear vulnerability; welcome it.

Respect your mother. 

Love your father.

Hug your sisters and brothers.

 Love with all your heart. Cry, forgive, and love again.

Ode to My Brother

I’ve indirectly learned many of life’s important lessons through watching my older brother stumble upon them first.

Josiah was the first born male in the family and so, in many ways, the guinea pig for discovering how to raise a boy into a man.

For that reason, often at times, I think he had a different upbringing than the rest of us. As an adult, I am able to look back and realize that everyone was a little harder and tougher on him. Who could blame them? The fear of failure was far too frightening.

He was the first of three more boys to come, and as much as he needed to learn how to be a man, they needed to learn how to successfully teach him.

Still, I can’t help but wonder if that’s part of the reason why he is sometimes distant from us.

 ”Just Be a Man” by Elya Filler

 I learned a crucial lesson a long, long time ago

Don’t ever hit, curse, spit, kick, or throw

Bubba threw a rock high into the sky

It came crashin’ down, glass to the ground

Oh why, dear Bubba, why?

Granddad was mad and threw a mighty fit

But he was just helpin’ me

And so the boy learned to hit

Just be a man, just be a man

They yelled until he cried

Don’t be a throwin’ nothin’ so high into the sky

I learned a lesson a long, long time ago

Don’t ever hit, curse, spit, kick, or throw

Papa threw a ball much too very fast

It flew and curled and then turned the world

And hit with such a blast

Bubba cried as the beast flew by and then broke his tiny thumb

Don’t be sad it’s not too bad

Come, little baby, come

Just be a man, just be a man

They yelled until he cried

Don’t be cryin’ over nothin’, have a little pride

I learned a crucial lesson a long, long time ago

Don’t ever hit, curse, spit, kick, or throw

Papa had to leave, Bubba screamed and wept

He kicked and thrashed and then spoke such trash

Until he lastly slept

Mom wore the pants and threw away the purse

Don’t be mad, it’s not his fault

And so the boy learned to curse

Just be a man, just be a man

Grow tall, proud, and strong

Learn a lesson here and there and know what’s right and wrong

A Love Letter to No One

Dear No One,

We used to walk in the park. Prince of insecurity.  I’m sorry it wasn’t enough.  The love. The time I gave you.

There is a couple on a blanket. They kiss. They’re in love.

I’m not looking at him, I swear. I’m happy.  There is only you. They meant nothing.

Liar.

We used to lie in the sun. King of control.

The sun is shining and I close my eyes and bring my forehead to the sky.

 Pay attention to me.

 I’m sorry.

We used to play games, you and I. Do you remember? 

I’ll lose this time.

Forget it.

 I probably won’t win.

There were days you used to disappear.  King of cruelty.

Where are you? Where did you go?

Nowhere.

What did I do?

Nothing.

What can I do to make it better?

I’m still here, aren’t I?

We used to walk hand in hand. Alone. In love?  Master of manipulation.

You reach for my hand and I give it to you. You let it go.

What did I do wrong?

I’m trapped.

I’m sorry. I’ll leave. I’ll give you your space.

How could you leave?

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left .

We used to talk for hours. Prince of spite.

Could you really not resist? Did you need it? Crave it? Have to have it?

No, not really.

Did you want to close the door and never open it again? It won’t work. Do you hate me that much?

We used to walk in the park.

Love,

No One

My Dark Companion

“My Dark Companion” by Elya Filler

Into our secret she calls me
Wicked enemy in disguise
My darkest companion through life
My mistress of sorrow and strife 
 
And yet I know I am nothing
A lone tourist in my own mind
And though a speck in her abyss
I yearn for every touch and kiss 
 
I detest it most when she’s near
And each moment I fear her more
She’s anguish to the bitter end
My beloved teacher and friend 
 
 It’s a torrid affair we have
A simple game of tug-a-war
Always a battle to the last fight
I with the lady of the night

Lately, I’ve been feeling “too happy.” It sounds silly, I know. How can someone be TOO happy? I do believe it only makes sense to another artist’s mind. My creativity has so often in the past flourished most in my darkest days.

When I am happiest, my dark companion is always there to sneak into my mind and bring me back down to Earth; to remind me that life is hard, pain is real, and loneliness is a beautiful thing. Without suffering, grief and sorrow, there is no joy and happiness. You must know one to really know the other. When I feel the darkness, and truly allow myself to experience it, not medicate or numb it with alcohol, food, etc, that’s when I know I am alive.